Relationships: How to deal with a husband who harasses you for money?

Question: Ours is an arranged marriage. My husband does business and he doesn’t like me to work. This is why I stay at home. He won’t tell me if he makes a profit in that business. But if there is a loss, he will tell me. He asks us to bring money from our relatives. People from our country have no respect for that. He talks a lot. He keeps scolding me saying that people from my hometown can’t give money, that means they don’t help. Our people have already given him money many times but have not returned it yet. My father, who has three children, said that he could not pay any more. That makes him more agitated. Yelling at every little thing. He is angry with me. He scolds the children too. He sometimes beats me and the children. Every time he keeps pestering you to go to your birthplace and bring money. It seems that one cannot live with such a person for long. I even left my career believing in him.  Now even finding a job seems difficult. I don’t know what to do.  It’s difficult to live with him and I can’t join the house. Children do not understand what to say. He is in a situation where he cannot stay for the rest of his life with insults and beatings. Please advise what to do.

Solution: Your problem is a bit painful. You sacrificed your education and career for him and came to his world. But he doesn’t know your worth. His thoughts revolve around money. If you pay off the debt of your birth parents when the profit comes, they will be able to give again. He takes the profits and when the losses come, he depends on your relatives. That’s why they say they can’t give anymore. Anyone can give it once or twice. It is not possible for anyone to give repeatedly. As you say your husband is a money man. He does not give the value of money to people. So he beats you and your children too. If he has money, he thinks that respect will come with a lot of money. In fact, he doesn’t know how difficult it is without people like me around.

You have to be very brave in situations like this. Think before taking a step. Exercise every right you have. Can’t come out with bare hands and survive. You must have some reassurance for your children. You decide whether you will get it through the court or through the elders. Don’t take the energy to step forward. You need the help of your natives. Explain about him and make a panchayat among the elders. It doesn’t matter if he changes…otherwise you have to stand up for yourself. You have to start your career again. Take the help of your natives for that. Keep your parents close so that the children do not suffer from lack of love. Earn and educate your children. Any property inherited by the father goes to the children. So you don’t have to worry about that. The day will surely come when he will realize what it would be like to not have a man by his side. He surely knows that money cannot buy love. You have to be patient and courageous. Talk to his parents too. Also tell what decision you have to take if his behavior does not change. Try to gather their support. Keep looking for job opportunities outside. You must have put aside your career all these years. Self-confidence also increases if you have your own income. So focus on job first from today. Being yourself is great for you. 

Also read: You are a millionaire if you have tea powder in your house, its price is in that range and