Question: I have been married for five years. I am staying with my mother in law. Along with my husband, my in-laws also stay with us. To be honest I don’t have any problems with my mother in law but why does my mother… she thinks that I am having a hard time with my mother in law. She thinks that I am innocent and therefore I have to do all the work myself. Because of this, when she comes to my house, she quarrels with my mother-in-law about something. I have no quarrel with my aunt. It is only because of my mother that we are having quarrels. Now my mother and my husband are telling me to put camphor separately. I don’t like it at all. My aunt takes good care of me. My mother doesn’t believe me when I say that I am fine and happy. She repeatedly says that you are innocent. It is only because of her that I am having problems in our area. Moreover, there is no more difficulty or lack in my life. My husband also takes care of me very lovingly. But I don’t understand why my mother thinks so negatively. I can’t let go of her. Also I can’t give up my mother-in-law’s family. I want to stay with them. But every time my mother quarrels and increases the distance between my aunt and me. Tell me how to change her.
Answer: It is a very happy thing to have both mother and daughter-in-law living together well in your house. Because in many families there are differences between aunt and daughter-in-law. But there is nothing like that in your house. So it can be said that your house will definitely be peaceful. But I don’t understand why your mother thinks so. It seems she doesn’t want you to be with your mother-in-law. That’s why it says to put root camphor. It also means that you have been raised by Allaru from childhood. After stepping in as a daughter-in-law, you have to do the work of mother-in-law and father-in-law. She seems to be thinking a lot about that. It can be understood that she is telling you to separate the in-laws because she feels that there is no need to work for the in-laws except the husband.
You have not told what kind of situations your mother faced after stepping into the in-laws house. If she has faced situations that hurt a lot, then you should talk to her directly that she is trying to protect you with the same in mind. Also it is better to keep her away from your mother-in-law. Because you don’t have any problem with your mother-in-law so far. If the distance increases just because of your mother… it is difficult to reduce the distance. So minimize inviting your mother to your home as much as possible. Go to your native place and talk to her to change her behavior. When she comes to your house, don’t appear too busy in front of her. Some mothers consider it a big task even if they make tea for aunts and uncles. That’s why your mother seems to be bothering you to get a different campura. No matter what your mother says, if there is no change in our mother, take the help of your relatives. Explain to your relatives first how happy you are with your mother-in-law. Tell your mother the same thing. Explain that not all families are the same, including aunts who treat daughters-in-law as daughters. Try to find out why your mother is speaking negatively. Find out about the hardships she faced in her life with her mother-in-law. Explain to her that not everyone is like that. Do not go out leaving your mother-in-law and father-in-law. Once the thread is cut, it can be tied back together, but cannot be reattached normally. That knot will always look like a flaw. Make sure those mistakes do not come in your life.
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